I get really tired of hearing how people hate sirloin because it's "too tough." Now, I know there's a whole lot of you out there saying right now "It IS tough, you moron!" Well, I'm here to tell that you're only slightly correct. Sirloin, especially top sirloin, can be very easily prepared to be incredibly tender, juicy and satisfying.

The main reason sirloin seems tough after cooking is that it's not marbled well like more expensive cuts of beef. More fat generally means more tender. This is because the muscle tissue within the cut breaks down more evenly and efficiently because of the fat infused into that muscle tissue. In other words, you don't have to know what you're doing to end up with a tender, juicy steak.

Sirloin is lean. Very lean. In fact, top sirloin has less than one fourth the fat contained in a rib-eye cut of the same size. That means you have to think before you cook:

Allow your steaks to warm up.
Meat placed on the grill at room temperature will cook much more evenly. Cooking unevenly results in the outside of the cut being tender and the inside being tough because the tissue never actually had time to break down.

Rub your steaks in a light oil.
Adding a thin layer of olive oil before you add your favorite spices will help seal in the meat's juices, without adding any heavy flavor to your steak. AND, before you email me and say "Alton Brown says that you can't lock in juices by searing meat" you might want to re-read the previous sentence. I said "help seal in the meat's juices." You can't make any cut of meat juicier by attempting to trap the moisture, but you can slow down the flow of juices into the grill from the bottom of the cut with simple science: oil and water don't mix.

Sear the meat.
Searing your steak on both sides instead of cooking one side and then the other will further prevent uneven cooking. It will also add flavor and help contain the cut's natural moisture in the middle while it's cooking. These juices will permeate the rest of the cut if you let it stand for a bit after you pull it from the grill.

Finish cooking indirectly.
Direct heat is the kiss of death to a lean cut of meat. Always leave open areas in your grill when building a fire or stacking your coals. This gives you a way to get the meat out of harms way but still keep them on the grill. Once the outside is seared on both sides, move your steaks to the side of the grill with no fire and close the lid. If you cook with gas, turn off one of the burners. If you can't do that, I'm sorry to inform you that you had a severe lapse in judgment when you purchased your grill. To finish, cook the meat slowly, checking frequently so you don't turn it into jerky. Grin like and idiot. You did it.

Now you know the secret. Stop making excuses and start cooking!

Here you don't get a ticket for driving too fast. You get your brains eaten for driving too slow!

One morning while eating breakfast with my two boys, Mike and Danny, we were trying to come with the most tasty flavor for a popsicle.

Mikey, who is 6, was first with watermelon. My mind immediately went to some sort of rum and Diet Coke concoction. But, the true epiphany came from my youngest. In a sweet little voice Danny said, "Dada, I know what would be a good popsicle...BACON!"

At that moment, I was overcome! I couldn't have been more proud. A tear welled up in the corner of my eye and I experienced a true father/son moment. Through the welling pride, tears of joy, and laughter... I could not help but shout "THAT'S MY BOY!"

So to all the world's popsicle makers I can only say one thing...

WE WANT OUR BACON FLAVORED POPSICLES!!

Billy Mays has always been one of my marketing heroes. He was such a phenomenal pitchman that he could sell anything. But he didn't. OxiClean works. Mighty Putty works. Hell, even that crazy little cellphone transmitter, the Jupiter Jack, works. I know. Angus and I each have one in our vehicles.

Billy pitched very few food items, but he did help you get your grubby little hands on the Big City Slider Station. He was also about to launch a major ad campaign with the fast food giant Taco Bell.¹

What made Billy special was that he was able to carry on the tradition of the man on the soapbox and still move merchandise that was worth what you paid for it. Having spent over twenty years in the advertising industry, I can tell you from experience that most of the time you DON'T get what you pay for. In his own words "Billy Mays doesn't sell snake oil!"²

Billy Mays - 1958-2009


Enjoy some great moments with our favorite fast-talking carnivore, Billy Mays:

Click here to watch the classic video of Billy ordering at McDonald's drive-thru in Tampa, Florida, for the MJ Morning Show (93.3 WFLZ).

Click here to watch the Big City Slider Station spot.


Sources:
1. Todd "MJ" Schnitt, MJ Morning Show (93.3 WFLZ)
2. Pitchmen, Episode 3, Discovery Channel, April 29, 2009

Native American author and comedian Sherman Alexie is a favorite target of PETA, mostly because he doesn't pull punches when it comes to eating animals and overly zealous environmentalists. Enjoy some of his finer moments:


"For one thing, environmentalism is a luxury. Just like being a vegetarian is a luxury. When you have to worry about eating - you're not going to be worried about where the food's coming from, or who made your shoes. Poverty, whether planned or not planned, is a way of making environmentalism moot. Even this discussion is a luxury."

Source: The Iowa Review, vol. 30, no. 3, Winter 2000


"During a recent San Francisco antiwar protest, a young woman carried a sign that read 'Vegetarians for Peace.'

When are we left-wingers going to learn that we are losing the cultural and political battle with conservatives because we are fractured into narcissistic special-interest groups? Why should an antiwar protestor be so concerned about her dietary identity? The political opinions of vegetarians and meat-eaters are, after all, equally important. And what does it tell us about vegetarians that it would never occur to meat-eaters to carry a sign that reads "Pacifist Pork Chop Lover for Peace" or 'Backyard Rib Barbecuer for International Nuclear Disarmament?'"

Source: The Stranger, April 17, 2003


"I've gotten death threats from vegans… What are they going to do? Throw their Birkenstocks at me?"

Source: The Stranger, April 17, 2003


"The day you get a cow up here to beat me in a poetry slam is the day I’ll stop eating them. Only so many words rhyme with 'moo.' I mean, yes, we're supposed to be better stewards. Yes, we're supposed to take care of the earth. Yes, we're supposed to honor the sacrifices made by the animals. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes — but damn it, we're in charge! And you know why? It's because of these [holding out thumbs]...

Maybe you think that carrots are less important than cows. I think they're equal, especially in a sauce."

Source: Live at Cataldo Hall, Gonzaga University, Spokane, WA