Posted by Sven on 12/18/2008 (2348 Reads)

 Meatballs That Will Kill You
That's not a joke. These things are bad. Bad as in awesome... but also bad as in "deadly artery-clogging cholesterol bombs." The cool thing about this recipe is that I don't really know it. I have made these things so many times that I never measure. Ever. So here, to the best of my ability, is the frequently asked for (but comprised of total guess-work) recipe for Swedish meatballs:

The Stuff:

2 lb. ground beef
2 lb. ground pork
2 cups dried bread crumbs (Italian bread works nicely)
1 qt. heavy whipping cream
1 crap-load of butter
4 cups beef broth or stock (stock is better for you
but it won't matter much once you start this)
2 tsp. ground allspice
2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 tsp. ground white pepper
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. garlic (powder or 2 tbsp. chopped fresh)
1/2 cup chopped onions (sweet is better)
3 eggs


Beat the eggs and set aside. Mix 1 cup of cream with the bread crumbs and set aside. You may need more cream depending on how dry the bread is (you want the consistency of Cream of Wheat). Mix the ground meat together (use your hands like a man). Now in the biggest bowl you have, mix the eggs, spices and onions together. Add the bread crumb mixture and meat and blend it all together with your hands again. Don't lick your fingers. Roll the resulting sticky mess into little one inch balls. You can dust your hands with flour as necessary to keep the mixture from sticking to your fingers.


Melt butter over medium heat in a skillet or frying pan and shallow fry the meatballs, turning them after they brown. The browner they are, the more meaty flavor comes out... but don't burn them. Place the broth or stock in a crock pot or kettle over medium heat and add the meatballs. Add enough water to cover them. Now let them simmer for a few hours. You'll probably need to add water periodically. Pour off the liquid into another container and add the remaining cream. Mix well, and pour it back into the kettle with the meatballs.

You have just made one of the Foods of the Gods. You owe me big time. Pat yourself on the back and share them with your friends, even if they are Scottish.

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